


That Was Me

by Cleem123



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Siremy, ernst - Freeform, hanschen, nbc rise, spring awakening - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 20:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14529042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleem123/pseuds/Cleem123
Summary: Jeremy and Simon run lines, they get sidetracked.





	That Was Me

“I thought perhaps we’d only talk” Jeremy confessed. No response. Jeremy chuckled pausing his fingers as they ran through Simon’s hair.

“No, don’t stop.” Simon whined. He was lying in Jeremy’s lap, they had another late rehearsal and the pair had snuck away to a deserted hallway. 

“We told Mr. Mazzuchelli that we were coming out here to run lines, Simon.” Jeremy chastised, but he began to run his fingers through the boy’s soft hair anyway. 

“We don’t need to run lines. We both know the scene by heart.”

“Then why do you keep dropping lines, huh?” Jeremy teased even though they both definitely knew why. Simon didn’t say anything, just glared at Jeremy before sitting up and moving so that they we’re facing each other.

“So are you sorry, that we—“

“No! I love you Hanschen. As I have never loved anyone.”

“And so you should.” Simon finished the scene. Jeremy went to say something, but Simon stopped him. Simon mouthed ‘sing’. Jeremy raised his eyebrows questioningly. Really? They were gonna sing now too? Simon just nodded and gestured for Jeremy to continue.

“Fine.” Jeremy sighed and cleared his throat before starting to sing. “ _ Oh, I’m gonna be wounded oh _ ” Jeremy couldn’t help it, looking into Simon’s wide eyes, he wondered if there was any of Ernst’s truth with him right there. Sure, Simon was no master manipulator like Hanschen and Jeremy didn’t think that Simon would intentionally hurt him. Yet, here they were. Practicing their lines in some empty hallway, away from everyone else. 

When Simon finally admitted his feelings to Jeremy, he felt like he was walking on clouds. Jeremy had had a crush on Simon for all of high school and now he knew his feelings were returned. Then of course, reality hit. It wasn’t safe for Simon to come out; he had no idea how his family would react, just that it wouldn’t be good. Jeremy respected Simon and wanted him to be safe, but he also wanted to hold his hand and sit next to him during rehearsals. Jeremy didn’t think that Simon could avoid him more than he had after their parking lot kiss, but he was wrong. After Simon’s confession, Jeremy thought they would be a real couple, but as soon as he and Simon started hanging out privately, all public interactions ceased entirely. Simon would barely even look at Jeremy if there were any other people around. 

“ _ Oh I’m gonna bruise you. _ ” Simon began to sing with Jeremy, taking his hand and moving closer, exactly like Mr. Mazzu had blocked it. “ _ Oh, you’re gonna be my bruise.”  _ The song finished; Jeremy began to turn away, reaching for his script, but Simon stopped him. Simon cupped Jeremy’s face, turning him back so that they were facing each other before leaning in. Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was about to kiss Simon or if Ernst was about to kiss Hanschen, but he closed his eyes and leaned in either way. 

Simon’s lips were soft against Jeremy’s. Jeremy remembered how awed he’d been by how soft Simon’s lips were when they kissed in the parking lot. But that was the only similarity between the two kisses. In the parking lot, Jeremy felt frantic, just waiting to be pushed away, now he took his time, wrapped his arms around Simon’s neck and pulled him closer. The parking lot kiss was fast and forbidden, this was slow and deep and open. Jeremy could pretend that this was normal, that Simon was his boyfriend, that they were allowed to just be teenagers in a relationship. 

Simon slowly pulled away, clearing his throat and moving back a bit, picking up his script. His whole face was red and he wouldn’t make eye contact with Jeremy. It was hard for Jeremy to process Simon being embarrassed after he was the one who initiated the kiss. 

“Was that Simon or Hanschen?” Jeremy asked jokingly, trying to clear the air and offering Simon an out if he needed it. 

“Was that Jeremy or Ernst?” Simon replied. Jeremy sighed, he was avoiding the question. 

“Jeremy. That was me.” He answered, hoping that Simon would take that as his cue to answer. He wasn’t exactly why this felt like such an important point, but he needed to know.

“Jeremy,” Simon began, rubbing his eyes. “That was me. Of course that was me.” He groaned, “Oh man, what am I gonna do?” 

“What?” Jeremy asked, confused as to what Simon was referring to. 

“I kissed you. I kissed you and I liked it.”

“Thank you?” Jeremy murmured, still not sure where this was going. 

“You know what I mean. I shouldn’t even be thinking about kissing a boy, let alone actually doing it.” Jeremy let out a breathe, finally realizing what Simon was saying. He wished he could have been some sort of help but Simon’s family was way too intense for him. Don’t get him wrong, Jeremy still wasn’t sure how to match his faith with these new found feelings, but he just couldn’t even consider something that felt so right being wrong. It just wasn’t possible.

“Got it.” Jeremy said tersely. He moved back, away from Simon and picked up his script, leaning through it in an attempt to avoid Simon and maybe change the subject. 

“Jeremy, please. I didn’t mean to…” Simon trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the two of them. 

“Didn’t mean to what?” He scoffed, “Kiss me? Or like it?” Jeremy knew he was being harsh, but damn it, he had put his heart out on the line too many times to get rejected by Simon Saunders again. 

“To hurt you. To dragged you into this.” Simon finished calmly. He seemed defeated. Jeremy didn’t respond so he went on, “You deserve someone who can hold your hand in public, or kiss you without freaking out. I’m not that someone.” Simon began to stand up, ready to head back to rehearsal. 

“Damn it.” Jeremy muttered, pulling Simon back down and pressing their lips together again. The kiss was short and sweet, ending as abruptly as it began. “I don’t want someone. I want you.” Jeremy confessed as they pulled apart. Simon blinked at him, processing what had been said. If Jeremy was being honest, it didn’t feel real to him either. The proposal that this could be something, that the two of them could be something, seemed chimerical.

“Um, we.. we should get back to the scene.” Simon stuttered, smiling wide and turning his attention back to the scene.

“Yeah, we should.” Jeremy agreed. And if Hanschen and Ernst spent more time than usual kissing, then that was just coincidence. 

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to @rise-side-blog and @awkward-pancake on tumblr for beta-ing
> 
> thanks so much for reading! Kudos and comments always appreciated!


End file.
